When in Doubt, Choose Mercy

"Mercy triumphs over judgment" (James 2:13)

If you could go back in time and make a different decision, what would you do? I ask myself this question a lot. And the answer that keeps coming back to me: I would have loved people more. I would have shown more kindness. I would have shown more compassion. I have shown more grace. I would have done more to make people feel seen and cared for. 

But I don’t think I’ve ever wished I had been more scathing, hurtful, or judgmental. People are difficult to deal with. It’s only natural to want to bring others down when we have disagreements, frustrations, and offenses. But since when has bringing others down ever brought us up? 

As Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. said: 

“Returning hate for hate mul­ti­plies hate, adding deep­er dark­ness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness can­not dri­ve out dark­ness; only light can do that. Hate can­not dri­ve out hate; only love can do that.” 

For the rest of our lives on earth, we’re going to be presented with a choice to either show mercy or judgment. My advice: choose mercy. Choosing mercy does not mean that you don’t stick up for yourself. It does not mean that you never tell people the hard truth. But it does mean that you aim to build rather than break. It does mean that you aim to restore rather than destroy. When in doubt, choose mercy! And I think you’ll be glad you did.

Photo by Rose Erkul on Unsplash

3-Step Reading Plan Through Romans 12

 

"To-Do List Christianity" is Good, Actually

How many times have you heard someone say something along the lines of, “Your relationship with God should not be like checking off a box”? Or maybe you’ve said that yourself? Well I disagree. Checking off boxes is actually really important for Christian maturity. Let me explain.  

Now I can understand the knee-jerk reaction to the idea of “To-Do List Christianity”. Obviously, if you and I were to spend quality time as friends, you wouldn’t want me to spend time with you to just “get a chore out of the way”. You wouldn’t want my attitude toward you to be without any care or interest. You would want our time together to be relaxed, meaningful, and enjoyable. 

The problem, however, is that it takes time to build that deep, intimate connection with God. And that connection cannot be built if you don’t already have a habit of coming to God regularly. If you only spend time with God when it’s relaxed, meaningful, and enjoyable, then you’re hardly ever gonna spend time with Him! So when you’re starting out, don’t focus on quality. Focus on quantity. 

I would much rather you spend 5 minutes a day with God for 6 days straight than to spend a single 30-minute session with God once a week. When you’re starting a new habit. Make it easy. Make it ridiculously easy. And your goal should be to check it off your to-do list every day. If you’re not able to do it every day, then it’s too hard. Make it even easier and less stressful. 

Then once you’ve established the rhythm of an easy habit every day, then you can slowly build it up to 6 minutes a day. And then 7 minutes. And so on and so forth. But if you try going for an hour a day from the get-go, you’re gonna lose momentum, crash, and burn out. So you gotta be patient. The quality will come. But you have to focus on quantity first. 

Think of a deep, meaningful connection with God like a fire. And think of the habit of spending time with God like the fireplace. As you slowly increase the size of your fireplace, the size of your fire can grow along with it. But if you try to start a big fire without a big fireplace, you’re gonna run out of log real quick!

Photo from Jakub Żerdzicki

Jesus Didn't Wait!

Matthew 4:23-24 ESV

“And he went throughout all Galilee, teaching in their synagogues and proclaiming the gospel of the kingdom and healing every disease and every affliction among the people. So his fame spread throughout all Syria, and they brought him all the sick, those afflicted with various diseases and pains, those oppressed by demons, those having seizures, and paralytics, and he healed them.” 

Jesus didn't wait. He didn't wait for people to convert. He didn't wait for people to follow Him. He didn't even wait for people to agree with Him. He just did good to people! He healed everyone that came to Him. He helped people everywhere He went, meeting them where they were and showing them the love of the Father. 

Dear Christian, do you give your love sparingly? Do you give your love selectively? Perhaps you show love to other Christians. Perhaps you serve those who look like you, talk like you, and act like you. But what about those who are different? What about the Mormon? The Hindu? The Muslim? The pro-choicer? The LGBT activist? The BLM activist? The atheist? Where does your love stop? 

I'm not telling you to avoid speaking the truth. After all, as Jesus was doing His good deeds, He was teaching in homes, synagogues, boats, and mountains. All the while, He was proclaiming the gospel of the kingdom and saying, “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand!” Jesus wasn't afraid to give people the hard truth, but He didn't relegate His love to merely sharing His thoughts. He loved people practically and visibly. He put skin in the game. He was willing to look bad in order to help people. He was willing to be misunderstood, attacked, and hated for doing good to those in need. He helped people who couldn't return the favor. He touched lepers. He honored women. He crossed racial boundaries and did good to those who looked different from Him. He even healed someone who came with a group to arrest Him. 

The love of Christ is fierce, courageous, sincere, wholehearted, and visible! It wasn't a question of if He was doing Kingdom work. It was a question of how, where, and when. And so my challenge for you, if you call yourself a Christian, is to put some skin in the game. Preach the gospel, but also show the love of Christ tangibly, whether they accept you or not. Jesus didn't wait. So what are you waiting for?

Photo by Mika Brandt on Unsplash

A Listening Ear — The Greatest Gift You Can Give

A friend of mine told me I have a problem with 'selective hearing.' At least... I think that's what they said. I wasn't really paying attention at the time. But it got me thinking: What if the greatest gift we could give to someone is the willingness to hear what they have to say?

Today we're gonna be talking about this incredible, top-secret life hack called… listening! I think what got my mind going in this direction was simply seeing the effect that not listening has on people. It ruins conversations. It ruins relationships. It leaves people feeling disrespected. Nothing means more to someone than when you give them the time of day. When you actually show them that you care enough to hear them out. 

Now I get it. This is difficult, especially when you’re engaging with someone you disagree with. The last thing you wanna do is hear what they have to say. But the fundamental benefit of a listening ear is that it’s a way of loving someone. It's a way of showing several fruits of the Spirit – love, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, and self-control. Almost all of those things are present when you make a concentrated effort to listen to somebody. But when you cut someone off or you listen only so you can respond, you're essentially telling the other person that you don't really care about what’s important to them. That’s insulting and a form of disrespect.

The Apostle Paul writes: “We who are strong have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves. Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. For Christ did not please himself, but as it is written, “The reproaches of those who reproached you fell on me.”” Romans 15:1-3 ESV

I believe a listening ear is something that pleases Christ, because you are literally exemplifying love by putting the other person above yourself. Even if you’re listening to someone you’re arguing with and you don't end up persuading them. Even if nothing changes as a result of the conversation, you're gonna be a lot happier that you showed someone the dignity of a listening ear than you would be if the conversation consisted of you being loud, boisterous, and rude.

And just think how much better your conversations would be if you actually listened to understand someone rather than simply listening in order to respond. You’d be less likely to judge. You’d be less likely to say something you regretted. The other person would feel heard and valued. And God would be honored, because you would be honoring someone made in His image. Jesus says: “As you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.” Matthew 25:40 ESV

Now I'm gonna be upfront with you. Being a good listener is not necessarily gonna help you resolve problems and disagreements right away. But here's the thing: You're not gonna resolve problems if you just talk and force yourself to be heard either. However you go about it, working through issues with someone takes time. So you might as well do it the right way rather than the fleshly way, because the fleshly way is just gonna build walls between you and the person you’re trying to help.

Now what if it’s not an argument you’re having, but just someone who’s telling you about a difficult situation they’re facing? Well, I’m a problem-solver. So my immediate instinct is to give someone advice when they’re pouring their heart out to me. But the thing is: people usually don’t want to be lectured. They’re not always needing a solution. They just need to be heard. They just need their feelings validated. 

So this is where listening takes on a new layer: empathy. You listen and try to feel what the other person is feeling. Because more than any solution or advice you might give someone, the best thing you can do is just be there for them. Be there with them. Validate what they're feeling by agreeing with them on the difficulty of their situation.

Now to be clear: there is space for you to give advice. There is space to give feedback. Part of being a good friend is being audacious. But just don't be so quick to give advice before you've had a chance to listen. When you've truly heard someone, you're able to give feedback from more of a tender place. From a place of understanding. The saying has a lot of truth to it, “people don't care how much you know until they know how much you care”.

And then here’s another important thing to remember: there is a God that can truly help someone during their trial, and you are not Him. So when you get the chance to have a meaningful conversation with a struggling friend, you’re simply there to be an instrument in God’s hands. You wanna be in a place mentally where you're fully submitted to God and seeking to glorify Him. Because when you speak to your friend under the influence of the Holy Spirit, it's gonna bless your friend, but if you're going at it purely from your own will or from the flesh, you may get it right, but you might also get it very wrong.

And I know some situations can trigger pretty strong emotions within us. Getting back to the topic of conflict, I’m a pretty opinionated person myself. Sometimes I just wanna “let the other person have it!” But that’s why Scripture says: “Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” James 1:19–20 ESV

How many times have you just said something in the spur of the moment and regretted it? How many times has your “righteous indignation” led to someone being indignant with you? It’s okay to step away from a conflict. It’s okay to say, “Hey, let’s take a time-out so I can process this before I come back to this conversation”. It's generally not wise to talk to someone or make decisions when you're under a flurry of emotions. But when you've taken your emotions to the Lord, that can help give you wisdom and clarity. It can take your heart back to the right place, so that way, you can speak words of peace and gentleness to your friend.

And here’s the best part of all! When you pour out your heart to God, God will listen to you and give you the time of day!

“When the righteous cry for help, the LORD hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:17–18 ESV

“Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” Hebrews 4:16 ESV

God is the best listener out there and the best friend you can have as a Christian! So get in the habit of spending time with Him and pouring your heart out to Him. It will only make you a better friend and a better listener toward others.

Now before we wrap things up we need to address one last question: “When is it appropriate to NOT listen to someone?” As shocking as it may seem, after everything I’ve said up to this point, there are some things that you should not listen to.

An easy one is abuse. You do not have to take abuse from someone if they’re being insulting and demeaning to you. You have the right to step away from a toxic conversation. Same thing if someone’s being a bad influence, or feeding you things that are spiritually dangerous. Or maybe someone wants to have a heavy conversation and you’re not in a healthy headspace to receive it. Sometimes, it’s okay to say, “Sorry, I’m just not in a good place to talk about this right now.”

Now a trickier situation is if your friend is complaining about another person when talking to you. You don’t want to enable toxicity, at least not if your friend is a Christian. If they’re expressing honest frustration, that’s okay. But you don’t wanna enable bitterness, hatred, slander, etc. So if that happens, hear them out. Empathize with them. But then when you get the chance to speak, redirect the conversation. 

For example: “Hey, I totally understand. I’m on your side. But I also noticed you veering into what sounded like gossip. Let’s focus on how you’re feeling as opposed to how bad the other person is.” Or you can be more subtle: “I’m so sorry they made you feel that way. Why don’t we bring this to the Lord in prayer?” There’s various ways to redirect a conversation, but you wanna do it tenderly so your friend doesn’t feel like they’re getting shut down or feel like they’re not getting validated. But, still say something, because at the end of the day, you want the conversation to be honoring to Christ.

Now there are other people you might encounter who may not be saying anything negative, but they might just ramble on and on incessantly. So sometimes it’s okay to cut in and be like, “Yeah, that’s awesome (yada, yada, yada)” and then change the topic. Or, “Thanks for sharing that. And I’m sorry, but I do have something to attend to.” But just make sure you don't do this rudely or too quickly. Give the person the proper amount of respect and attentiveness before you bring a conversation to a close.

And then finally, if you’re in a position of spiritual authority, you have the right to intervene when false teaching is being presented. Paul writes: “There are many who are insubordinate, empty talkers and deceivers [...] They must be silenced, since they are upsetting whole families by teaching for shameful gain what they ought not to teach.” Titus 1:10–11 ESV 

This is important if you’re a pastor. If false teaching is being spread, you gotta speak up and say, “Sorry, but we don’t believe that or teach that here.” But of course, as the Apostle Peter writes: “do it with gentleness and respect, having a good conscience”. 1 Peter 3:15-16 ESV

And with that, I wanna close by saying this: it’s very difficult to become good listeners without God. We need His grace, because in and of ourselves, we tend to be impatient. In and of ourselves, we tend not to show grace. But God can help us and change us. And I believe that if we're in the Bible, if we're meditating on love and the fruits of the Spirit, if we’re asking God to change us, then we can change. We can become more patient. We can become more empathetic. And we can become good listeners. So let’s pray together right now!

Lord, teach us to love. Teach us to listen. Teach us to put our neighbor above ourselves. May we please you in showing forth Jesus in our conversations and interactions. We ask for your blessing today and declare all praise, all honor, all glory be to God forever in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth! Amen and Amen!

Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash

How to Connect Powerfully with the Holy Spirit

The most important connection of your life is your relationship with the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is the third person of the Trinity, and sometimes referred to as the "forgotten" member of the Godhead. But I like to call Him one of the greatest gifts given to the Christian who has put their faith in Jesus Christ.

The Apostle Paul writes:

“In him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of his glory.” Ephesians 1:13-14 ESV

And this gets me so excited! The Holy Spirit is God Himself living in us as Christians! We just can't do the Christian life without the Holy Spirit. But with Him on our side, everything changes! Here are just four of the many things He does:

1. The Holy Spirit gives the Christian teaching and instruction.

Jesus says:

“But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.” John 14:26 ESV

2. The Holy Spirit enables us to live a holy life.

The Apostle Paul writes:

“For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live.” Romans 8:13 ESV

3. The Holy Spirit empowers believers with various spiritual gifts for the benefit of others.

Paul writes:

“Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit; and there are varieties of service, but the same Lord; and there are varieties of activities, but it is the same God who empowers them all in everyone. To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good.” 1 Corinthians 12:4-7 ESV

4. The Holy Spirit gives us assurance of our salvation!

We already saw from Ephesians 1 that He guarantees our inheritance. But we also read in Romans:

“The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him.” Romans 8:16-17 ESV

So it's clear that the Holy Spirit is a vital and essential part of the Christian life, but here's the thing:

We can limit the Spirit's power in our lives when we don't prioritize our relationship with Him.

Now, God still loves us and can work through us even when we don't seek Him, but generally speaking, God doesn't force Himself on us. He wants us to want Him.

“Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you.” James 4:8 ESV

This is why some churches see more miracles than others. Because the churches that are seeing miracles are the ones where the congregants pray for them and by faith are expecting them to happen.

“You do not have, because you do not ask.” James 4:2 ESV

Jesus Himself did not do many mighty miracles in Nazareth because of the people's unbelief. Matthew 13:58 paraphrased.

So how do we as Christians build a good relationship with the Holy Spirit? The same way we build good friendships with fellow human beings: with intentionality, authenticity, and audacity.

Building the Relationship

Intentionality

Intentionality means that we make a plan to spend time with God, and we follow through on that plan.

For example, you can plan for 20 minutes a day, a couple days a week. You can increase this over time, but when you're just starting out, make it easy on yourself. Pick a time and a place where you're going to spend time with God, and unless otherwise needed, be ready to say “no” to anything that would get in the way of that commitment.

Plan this out ahead of time so that you can build your schedule around your God-time. Now when I say “God-time,” I don't necessarily mean reading the Bible. Although you should absolutely be reading your Bible every day, I think Christians need to have a separate time to just sit and be with God.

One thing you can do is take some time to just be still, be silent, and breathe.

“Be still, and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10 ESV

One reason we might have trouble hearing God's voice is we're always “go, go, go”! We get up, go to school/work, come back home, and then it's on to the next thing. We never take the time to calm down and just be.

Here's a challenge for you. Set a timer for 2 minutes and just try to be still for those two minutes. Don't talk. Don't pray. Just relax and breathe. And I know for some of you that's hard. But just do your best. Just try it for 2 minutes and then go back to normal. What you're trying to do is disrupt the rush of life in order to be present with God. The Holy Spirit might speak to you during this time, but don't try to force that to happen. You might find that you really enjoy the peacefulness of this quiet time, and you might decide to go longer than 2 minutes. But make it easy and rewarding for yourself.

Authenticity

Another thing you can implement in your God-time is authenticity. Take some time to pour your heart out before God. Confess sins. Confess struggles. What are you worried about? What are you ashamed of? What are you hoping for? Spill it all.

King David writes:

“With my voice I cry out to the Lord; with my voice I plead for mercy to the Lord. I pour out my complaint before him; I tell my trouble before him. When my spirit faints within me, you know my way!” Psalm 142:1-3 ESV

Elsewhere, he writes:

“When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer. I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity; I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,” and you forgave the iniquity of my sin.” Psalm 32:3-5 ESV

There's just something so liberating when you're able to pour out your heart to a friend. And if you're a Christian, the Holy Spirit is your best and most trusted friend. Why deprive yourself of that healing grace?

Paul writes:

“Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” Hebrews 4:14-16 ESV

Audacity

And the key phrase I want to focus on is, “Let us then with “confidence” draw near to the throne of grace.” Which leads into another important part of your God-time: audacity. Now obviously, the audacity you have with God is not the same audacity you'd have with human beings, where you confront them on their wrongdoing.

Instead, the audacity you have with God is the willingness to ask God for things. God is more than happy to give good gifts to His children! (Matthew 7:10 paraphrased) As a matter of fact, the Apostle John goes so far as to say:

“I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God, that you may know that you have eternal life. And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of him.” 1 John 5:13-15 ESV

Here's a key principle to remember:

The areas of your life that are not blessed are likely areas that you are not blessing.

Is your marriage a godly one and in alignment with God? How are your children? Your friendships? Your business? Your job? Finances? Health? Spiritual life? Ministry?

Are you praying and asking for God's blessings over those areas of your life? We all know what happens to the plant that doesn't get watered.

This is not a prosperity gospel, nor a get-rich, name-it-and-claim-it theology. It's simply being aware of the fact that we need God's help in every area of life. And yes, the more God is involved in a specific area of your life, the more likely that area is to “prosper.” It's okay to say that.

So be audacious! Call upon God to bless your city, ask God to bless your marriage, ask God to restore your relationships, ask God to restore your fire and passion for His Kingdom. Ask God to protect you and prosper your health. Ask God to bless your finances and enable you to manage them wisely. Pray specifically for the important areas of life that God has called you to steward.

One thing that can really help your prayers is if you write them down on a paper or in your phone. That way, you can go back to them and pray them out every day.

So with that, you have at least three tools for your God-time: silence, authentic prayers, audacious prayers. Now we could add so many more, like worship or praying in tongues. But the point is not to give you a formula, but just to get you intentionally spending time with the Holy Spirit on a regular basis. And that's the key.

And then a final point I want to make is: be careful not to try to “manufacture” the Holy Spirit. I know some Christians can have very strong emotional, spiritual experiences. And those are great, but don't try to force those to happen. There are false, counterfeit spirits out there, and you don't want to be entangled with those. All you're trying to do in your God-time is “make space” for the Holy Spirit to minister to you. And that can happen in so many different ways. Let your relationship with God be yours and not somebody else's.

“Well, Calvin, how would I distinguish the Holy Spirit from a false spirit?" Well, I think it's simple: the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5 consists of: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. If what you're experiencing is lacking those fruits, then it may not be from God. I like the way John Eldredge puts it.

“The Religious [or false] Spirit has turned discipleship into a soul-killing exercise of principles. Most folks don’t even know they can walk with God, hear his voice. The Religious Spirit has stigmatized counseling as a profession for sick patients, and so the wounds of our hearts never get healed. He’s taken healing away from us almost entirely so that we sit in pews as broken people, feeling guilty because we can’t live the life we’re supposed to live. [...]

“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery” (Gal. 5:1).

So here’s a bottom-line test to expose the Religious Spirit: if it doesn’t bring freedom and it doesn’t bring life, it’s not Christianity. If it doesn’t restore the image of God and rejoice in the heart, it’s not Christianity.” 

Waking the Dead, Pgs 162-163.

And with that, my prayer for you is that you develop a strong relationship with the True and Living Holy Spirit that gives life to mankind and spiritual vitality to the body of Christ. May the Lord bless you, and all praise, all honor, all glory be to God forever in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth. Amen and Amen!

How to Stop Quitting Before You Finish

Hey, if you're reading this while avoiding that one thing you're supposed to be doing that you said you wanted to do, congratulations! You're my target demographic! Today, we're gonna be talking about being a finisher. Someone who starts something and then finishes it, follows through with it, and maintains it.

Now, I can think of several times in my life that I started something but didn't keep it going. I started writing a couple stories, I started taking dance lessons and guitar lessons, but I stopped short and did not continue with those things to the extent that I originally wanted. And one thing I want to do is change that habit. I don't want to be the guy that starts a project and then gives up halfway. I want to be a finisher. And not just with finishing projects, I want to follow through on commitments I make. I want to be a person of my word. And I have a feeling that you do as well. 

Now, I don't want this to be a legalistic thing by any means. Not everything needs 100% dedication. And it's not like if you're a non-committal person that you're in sin or a bad Christian. It just means that nobody's actually gonna like you. I'm kidding, I'm kidding. But I do believe that being a finisher can greatly help you in life. What are the benefits, you ask?

Well, for one, people tend to trust a finisher. People like someone they can depend on. And if you're someone that follows through on their word, people will pick up on that and trust you. It'll help you move along in life. 

Secondly, a committed mindset forces you to be intentional. It forces you to be organized, forces you to plan things out and put reminders. It helps you say no, and it helps you keep track of things. You become dependable when you're setting appointments. You learn to become a clear communicator. And that just makes a world of a difference to the people around you. 

Thirdly, completing something just feels good. I mean, have you ever felt great after starting something and not following through on it? I mean, I haven't. It's just so satisfying when you set a goal and you can check off that it was completed. 

And then finally, being a finisher can help your own character and endurance for the hard and difficult seasons in life. Look at what scripture says. 

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything (James 1:2-4)." 

So if your immediate impulse when things get hard is to quit, you're gonna miss out on the value of perseverance. But when you go through the fire and stand firm, you come out stronger. Commitment and character reap rewards. It's just inevitable. 

So what I've outlined here is a roadmap for becoming a finisher. And the roadmap has three steps. 

The first step, when you start a project, be it creative writing, learning a skill, attending a weekly club or whatnot, you have to ask yourself whether this is a pursuit worth following. Is it important? Yes or no? If it is, then make it a priority. And if it's not important enough to be a priority, then don't burden yourself with it. I mean, these are all really good questions to pray about and figure out with God. And let's be real, you can't do it all. There are multiple things that are really good to prioritize, but you're only human. So you're going to have to say no to some good things, and yes to some better things. Ask God to help you out, and go with what you're realistically able to accomplish. And if you don't have the motivation to do something, you don't always have to pressure or guilt yourself. Sometimes it's okay to put something on the back burner until God gives you the grace to accomplish it. 

Now, I've been mentioning God quite a bit here. Finding out God's will can be a tricky endeavor.” It's good to pray about your decisions and take some quiet time to listen. I believe the Holy Spirit can give us promptings and guidance when we seek out His wisdom. However, I think it's also important to distinguish the guidance of the Holy Spirit from the command of the Holy Spirit. What God has commanded us to do is in the Bible. That's what's spiritually and morally binding on us as believers. But how we choose to serve God or create things is a matter of free will. Just because the Holy Spirit can help and guide us in our endeavor doesn't mean, generally speaking, that God has commanded that endeavor. 

There are some exceptions, of course. We know that God commanded Jonah to go to Nineveh because he was called to be a prophet by God. However, for most of us ordinary people, I think that what we do for God is largely up to free will. There's room for trial and error, and I just think that's a beautiful thing. I think oftentimes we want God to tell us to go to Nineveh, but the beauty in being a child of God is that God will often wait for us to make our own decision. Now, of course, we need God to bless our decision. We don't want to do something on a whim. However, God does give his children a lot of choices. He may not always give us a clear direction on what to do and where to go, and sometimes we just got to make a decision, take a chance, and see where that decision leads us. God can confirm whether he is for it or against it. We just got to stay humble, surrendered, and teachable. We just got to be childlike in our approach. And then even if we see God's blessing on a decision, it doesn't always mean we should feel guilt and pressure to continue in that decision if we decide to go a different route later on. 

Okay, so I know that was quite a side tangent, but it was important. So to summarize step one, prayerfully consider and decide the project you want to prioritize and undertake. 

Step two, when you've decided what you want to do, you need to make a plan. What will this commitment take? Where and when will you work on it? For how long? How many days in a week? Is there an end date? Or will this go on indefinitely until God tells you to stop? Then you can write out a schedule and then set reminders, events, and alarms on your phone or calendar so you can keep track of everything.” Now, in general, you have to be quick as far as scheduling and writing out your plans. Don't make or agree to a plan without first checking your calendar and writing it down. If you don't keep track of things, you're going to forget and get thrown off course. 

The principle in general can also apply to group activities. So let's say there's this club that you've wanted to attend on Tuesday nights, but you can't attend because of your work schedule. And then one day, you get approved to change your shift at work and your Tuesday nights are free. Now, when that happens, that is the moment when you take action. Make a plan, make a commitment to start attending that club and write it down, because I'm telling you, if you don't make a strong commitment, things are gonna pop up that are gonna try and steal your attention away. Decide what's important to you and be dedicated to it. And hey, maybe you actually want your Tuesday nights to be free. Maybe you don't wanna tie yourself down to a commitment, so that way you have some more levity to do what you want. That's perfectly fine. But still, be intentional when you make any decision like that. 

And then step three, you need to find ways to make your project enjoyable, because misery is not a recipe for long-term sustainability. So, for example, I don't enjoy writing when I'm at home. However, if I go out to a public place or do a study hall with my friends, I'm a lot more motivated to write. Another thing that helps me out is accountability. Every day, I message a friend of mine what my goals are for that day, and then the next day, I have to tell him whether or not I met them. Having someone there to witness the accomplishment of your goals can be very motivating and rewarding. As a matter of fact, I've been able to sustain a habit for over two years straight because of accountability. So, for you, you need to figure out what's gonna make your project more enjoyable. What's gonna keep you motivated? Try different things out and see where they take you.

So, there you have it. A three-step roadmap to becoming a finisher. But of course, there are some important questions to consider. Like, what if I just lose my passion and motivation for what I want to do? I was excited about learning how to code, but now coding has become hard. It's become a chore. How do I know when it's time to quit or give up on a project? Well, in response to that, I think there are three things to consider. 

First, difficulty is not a bad thing. Think of it like lifting weights. When you go to the gym to work out, you need some resistance. You need some weight to push or pull against. That's what strengthens you. So could the difficulty you're facing be an opportunity for you to build strength, resilience, and growth? If so, it may be worth it to endure some discomfort. 

But the second possibility is that you're trying to lift too much weight. Are you putting unreasonable burdens and expectations on yourself? You don't have to. Make the project easy, make the project fun. There will come a time for you to grow and add resistance, but now may not be the time, so take it slow. 

And then the third possibility is that it may actually be time to quit. If your project is crushing you rather than challenging you, if there's just no passion and it's affecting you negatively, if there's something better you can be doing, or maybe you just want your free time back, then there's no shame in throwing in the towel. Don't guilt yourself into maintaining misery. Now, the exception, of course, is if it's a moral obligation that God has commanded you to endure, like staying in a marriage, you know, with someone you've actually married, or caring for your children. But if there's no moral obligation, then, generally speaking, I think you have some freedom. 

And then, remember, there's nothing wrong if you simply need a cheat day or a break from something. I remember one time I was on this pretty strict diet. I was at a gathering and someone had brought cake because it was my birthday. And man oh man, did I feel the tension rise within me. Was I gonna stick to my diet, or was I gonna enjoy a nice dessert with my friends to celebrate my own birthday? I decided to eat some cake and I do not regret doing so. I mean, it wasn't gonna kill me that one time. Having a committed mindset does not mean torturing yourself. Just have a plan to get back into your routine after you decide to take a break. Cheat days can be destructive if they're taken without any thought or plan for getting back on course. Now, of course, there are some things that you simply cannot cheat at, or it's gonna ruin you. If you're a recovering alcoholic, then taking that one sip of alcohol can lead you to destruction. It's not worth it no matter how torturous sobriety is. And while I'm not an alcoholic, there are some habits that I simply will not compromise on, because I know that if I break my streak, that will lead me toward destruction. So you just need to know your own limits. 

And I think the Bible summarizes this topic pretty well. 

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak (Ecclesiastes 3:1,5-7 NIV)."

So, all in all, what I hope this article has given you is some structure and guidance. Some of this may have been stuff you've already known, and some of it may not have been. But at least now, you have a road map, so you have some kind of framework to work out of. 

Identify what you want to do, make a plan for doing it, and then figure out ways to make it enjoyable.

I pray this framework gives you clarity as you pursue your calling and your purpose. May the Lord bless you, and all praise, all honor, all glory be to God forever, in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, amen and amen!

Photo by Mārtiņš Zemlickis on Unsplash